Why you may be trying too hard
Philosophy & Introspection
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November 6, 2025
and how it's a form of self-sabotage
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When I'm solving the New York Times daily word association puzzle, Connections, sometimes the solution comes to me immediately. But other times, it is counterintuitively much more effective for me to pause for a few hours after I solve one or two rows.
In that time, while I'm thinking about other things or letting my mind wander, my subconscious is processing the puzzle word associations.
Then, when I return to it later, more associations I hadn't thought of come to me. It takes effort sometimes to convince myself that this process is more efficient, but I tend to solve a lot more puzzles I'm stuck on this way than through brute force guessing.
Now, imagine this scenario for yourself: you're working on a project the whole day and can't tear yourself away from it even though you can feel your energy flagging, only stopping when you collapse with exhaustion. You then leave working on the task feeling upset with how the session ended.
Or, alternatively, you jump between focused activities without pause, don't give yourself any downtime, and end the day utterly exhausted even though you made some good progress. Repeat this for a full week, and you could quickly be approaching burnout.
Having been in both situations, you and I may just be trying too hard. By understanding the power of the DMN, we can unlock a better way of associating with ourselves to avoid getting stuck.
Default Mode Network versus Task-Positive Network
The Default Mode Network (DMN) is a system of connected brain systems that activate when you are not focused on a task or your surroundings. Often associated with "shower thoughts", the DMN could activate during daydreaming, meditation, or journaling. It may feel like you're floating "above" your thoughts.
The Task-Positive Network (TPN) functions opposite to the DMN. It activates when your attention is focused on a particular task, such as coding or playing a sport and is often associated with the feeling of "flow". It may feel more like you are walking or even running alongside your thoughts.
Examples of DMN in Action
Early Interactions with DMN
When I was younger, oftentimes instead of doing my homework, I could be found staring out the window watching cars go by. My parents would always wonder what was going on in my head during these times, and frankly I didn't know at the time.
But, these breaks from focus were allowing my subconscious to process the world around me swapping the task in front of me into the background for some time.
Now, you can go too far into the DMN space. It adjusts based on sensory input and social experiences and can lead to rumination, overthinking, and general internal chaos if you allow your mind to roam completely unchecked.
There have been periods personally where my thoughts have strayed into rumination over recent events or anxieties about upcoming ones. Or, getting caught too far in the past or future in DMN thought and having trouble activating the TPN to tackle a specific task.
But the methods of DMN activation I mention later on have helped me clear those negative emotions and bring order to my DMN thoughts.
DMN for Physical Projects
For a physical example, my dad and I installed a 6" lift kit and big tires on a 1997 Jeep Cherokee in my high school years. During this process, there were plenty of sticking points where we needed to step away from the project after a productive work session. There was usually a point where we could just tell we were going to break something if we continued without pause.
At one point, it was only after a break after struggle where we realized the best way to remove an element from the steering system was to call in some backup muscle. Now, our solutions did not always work out, and sometimes we broke parts anyways (like still failing the puzzle regardless in Connections).
But more often than not, we sprayed some penetrating fluid on a rusty bolt between us and success, walked away, checked YouTube and forums for similar issues, and let our minds tackle solutions in the background for a few days. It took many iterations of this, but it eventually all came together into a project we could enjoy together.
DMN for Mental Projects
On a more cerebral side, several computer science projects in undergraduate study pushed me to attempt figuring out a difficult project in one sitting, especially if they had condensed timelines.
This would often lead to anxiety and overwhelm as my brain became overloaded and ultimately stuck retreading the same thoughts.
Ultimately, I would get frustrated with my lack of progress and end the coding session feeling dismayed about where I left it.
I knew that taking a break would help, that was overridden by the compelling feeling within myself to keep working from self-pressure and perceived external pressures.
But even having experienced the power of the DMN, it is STILL a struggle to apply this principle consistently. So, how can YOU help activate the DMN to unlock its subconscious processing?
How to Harness the DMN
I'll focus on a core way to tune into your DMN: practice active meditation and deliberate play.
Active Meditation and Deliberate Play
I'm aware that I've lost some people just by mentioning the word "meditation". But meditative activities can mean different things to different people. This could include many activities that don't require intense focus, such as taking a walk in nature, listening to music (especially instrumental), doing simple, repetitive tasks like folding laundry, doodling or coloring, browsing the internet, chatting with friends, watching TV, or playing games.
The reason to do these types of activities is to engage with reality and the senses, but without focus on one thing. They allow you to relax and observe your thoughts without judgement and to self-express through play.
Make sure to take note of any great ideas that bubble to the surface during your chosen activity to return to later.
There can be some overlap in the types of tasks that activate DMN or TPN. For instance, meal preparation may be in the TPN thought space for a novice but in the DMN thought space for someone who has practiced it a lot.
It's important to note that consumptive behaviors mentioned should be used in moderation and balanced with your creation-focused activities. Also, avoid high-stimulation activities such as fighting games or horror movies when you seek to activate the DMN, as this might lead to more excitation.
Allow Space for Balance
Forgive yourself if you have difficulties balancing DMN and TPN thought. The pressures of society sometimes make it feel like you have to stay in TPN mode ALL the time and always be completing the next task.
Yes, tasks can be an enjoyable way to pass the time. But giving your mind time in DMN processing allows for connections between seemingly disparate principles.
Attention to detail and persistence to complete a task (TPN) along with rest and recovery (DMN) provide a yin and yang balancing effect on one another.
In many aspects of life, as in a game of Connections, letting the default mode network kick in leads to coming back later with fresh ideas without excessive or direct effort. For me, it awakens my innate powers of curiosity and observation. What might it unlock for you?
Here's some additional reading if you're interested in learning more about the DMN/TPN:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/default-mode-network
https://www.med.stanford.edu/content/dam/sm/scsnl/documents/Neuron_2023_Menon_20_years.pdf
https://idratherbewriting.com/smartphones/dmn-and-tpn-brain.html
Give NYT Connections a try for a good brain exercise (not sponsored)!
